07/27/16

Mommy Moment: Let Them Be Little

So this post is a little different than what I normally share…

I recently had one of “those” mommy moments. Yes, this moment….

Here is the story….

I just finished yelling at my son for the eighth time when it was finally time for bed. After spending five minutes putting his pull-up on, grabbing books to read and making sure he brushed his teeth, I crawled into bed with him and started reading. Being a boy, my son is constantly “wound up” from the day and trying to get him to relax and settle down is always a challenge. Toddlers are just little adults with a lot of energy and anxiety. They thrive on attention and are always up for a challenge. While I am reading, he is humming, kicking, and won’t stop moving. I explain to him that he is being disrespectful to mommy and I am going to leave if he doesn’t stop. Of course this is a challenge to him so what does he do… Keeps going! Out of frustration I yell at him, put the books away, shut his light off and leave the room. Now he is doing the same actions but with loud yelling, screaming, and shouting  “mommy come back” at the top of his lungs.

{ Unfortunately, this has been our routine several nights out of the week for a couple months now. }

 It is 10 p.m. and I’m exhausted. But I am done fighting with him tonight. So what do I do… Go back in there and lay with him. He lays his head on my shoulder and curls up next to me. I just hold him tight and scratch his back. His sweet, little hand starts rubbing my face and whispering “Mommy… I love you!

I totally lose it…

I start having flashbacks of him being an infant as the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star plays from his sound machine. I am realizing how fast he is growing up and the tears just keep building up. Is this the moment? Is this that moment every parent realizes their child is growing up? Every flashback of when he was little is just popping up in my head. I am starting to break down and I don’t want him to see me upset. I slowly climb off the bed and tell him goodnight. As I am walking down the hallway I the water works are just spilling out on my face and now I am just a mess. I am trying to make my way to the back patio and my husband stops me. He asks me why I am crying but I am at that “crying stage” where I am gasping for air. Get it together Brittany!

I tell him I’m fine….. Of course he doesn’t believe me since I am a sobbing mess so he follows me outside. As I gather my thoughts and catch my breathe, I ask myself why exactly am I crying?!?!

Ridge is growing up so fast.

I am a bad parent.

Why do I yell at him?

Why does he drive me crazy?

He is the sweetest little boy.

Why doesn’t he listen?

I love him so much!

Trying to wipe the tears and get myself together, I chug the rest of my glass of wine and go back inside.

So, I have a message for all parents and myself. Do not rush each milestone. Savor every painstaking moment. We’re always constantly going that we forget how fast they are GROWING. So, take a deep breath and just smile. Some day we will miss the chaos when things begin to get simple. Our babies are only going to be little once. Even though they will always be your “baby,” they won’t always be solely yours. One day they will want to be their own.

beachy

Let them run around the living room, let them ask a bajillion questions, let them test you, let them hang on to your leg, let them tell you about their day, let them tell silly stories, let them know you’re listening, and let them teach you how to color outside the lines…

Tonight, I can’t take my child for granted. Tonight, I can’t focus on my tired body or my to-do list. Tonight, I am grateful for every precious moment I have with my him.

 It’s too easy to get distracted, but twenty years from now, will I remember that I finished the last load of laundry or that I read books to my child? Slow down and embrace their childhood.

A little smile that will make it worth it, a little more kisses, a little more hugs, a little more of a lot of unconditional love.

 

Brittany